It’s 11 pm – bedtime for Sharon.
But sleep is not knocking on her door anytime soon.
The reason- she thinks that her neighbour thinks that she is not friendly enough.
This Reasoning is based on a regular conversation they had. A conversation that ended with a promise to catch up someday over coffee, and not just near the elevator.
Did you read ‘The Reason’ above? It is a sentence where the word ‘thinks’ appears twice.
When there are many ‘thinks’ involved in a single sentence, ‘overthinking’ is bound to be there.
What exactly does ‘Overthinking’ refer to?
Overthinking is the art of creating new problems out of the ones that never exist in the first place. While you might think that overthinking didn’t exist earlier, that it is a fairly new trait. I am sorry, but you are wrong here.
The word might seem like a new one, but the trait existed even before your grandmother’s grandma was born. However, the digital era has evolved this teensy personality trait into a full-blown system crash.
How does Overthinking work?
Do you realise that we often treat our minds like web browsers? We open fifty different tabs of ‘what-if’ situations that run heavy background processes. It is not even lunchtime, and our anxiety has already drained our mental battery.
If you think that overthinking requires high-level problem-solving, let me break it to you: it is not. Solving your problem of overthinking does not need strategic planning. Just fixing a few minor glitches will be enough.
Essentially, overthinking can be reimagined as your brain spinning its wheels in the mud. You not only burn your fuel, i.e. mental energy, but also do not reach anywhere. Analysing a sentence one hundred and ten times will not help you get over the thought. One thing that might help is reading this post.
Are you ready to hit the ‘Force-Quit’ button on your running thoughts? Here are some sure-shot solutions to take a break from your own mind, protect your mental peace, and reclaim your focus.
What is Rumination in Overthinking?
Have you noticed a cow eating food? She continuously chews on the food until it is perfect to be swallowed. This process is known as rumination.
Similarly, we think about the same thought continuously, on a spiral. Psychologists refer to this type of chronic overthinking as rumination as well. So how will we know that the thought is now good enough to be swallowed?
What is the difference between a healthy brain and an overthinking brain?
Sharon and Petty attended a college alumni event. They met after a long time and talked about their college days and various events in their lives.
When Petty returned home, she felt glad to talk to her old friend and decided to keep in touch. However, Sharon started ruminating on each sentence Petty spoke and thinking about everything in detail.
When an event occurs, a healthy brain processes it, extracts a lesson, and moves on with the routine. In contrast, an overthinking brain takes that event and uses a magnifying glass to examine each part carefully.
Sharon analysed the tone of Petty’s conversation, interpreting various reasons she might have said a specific thing. As we stay in a hyperconnected world, our brains starve for context after receiving the information instantly.
Our brains are wired to think about worst-case scenarios, just like Sharon. It takes effort and time to think as Petty does. To break the cycle of overthinking, we need to move from a state of passive reaction to an active and intentional intervention.
Super 3 Strategies That Will Make You Stop Overthinking
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Create a Strict Worry Window (It’s Interesting)
While Overthinking, do you realise that you are overthinking? You do, right? You cannot just tell yourself, ‘Stop Overthinking, bud’. You can’t, right? The more you try to suppress a thought, the more frequent it becomes. This is the ironic process theory – if I tell you not to think about chocolates, then chocolates are all that comes to your mind.
There is a corporate method to overcome this. It is known as timeboxing.
What needs to be done – Allocate a fixed time, say 15 minutes, and label it your official ‘Worry Window’. Leave all the work that you have been doing and start ruminating over the thought that has been troubling you. However, this can be done for a flat 15 minutes. Set a timer to stop the thought immediately when it beeps.
You can either think about the thing that is troubling you or write every thought that comes to you on a piece of paper. Draw a mind map of all the things that could have gone wrong or will go wrong. This way your brain will have full permission to overthink. There won’t be any guilt.
As soon as the timer beeps, you need to stop thinking or ‘over’thinking. Get up from your place, crumple that piece of paper, and move towards a different place, or by a windowsill. Start doing work that is not related in any way.
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Shift from ‘Why’ to ‘What’ (Seriously, a game changer)
When we are stuck in a loop of thoughts, we ask ourselves unreasonable questions, the answers to which cannot be known instantly. We ask things that may or may not help us solve the problem:
“Why did she behave badly with me?”
“Why don’t I take a stand for myself?”
“Why can’t she see that I mean well for her?”
Psychologists refer to these as problematic questions. These ‘Why’ questions force us to ruminate on past things. We look for the person who needs to be blamed. We try to elaborate behavioural traits. However, these questions trap us in the past.
This loop needs to be broken with a snap. Switch over to ‘What’ questions instead for this. These questions help us stay mindful of our overthinking and help us seek solutions.
“What should I reply to her?”
“What is the next step?”
“What solution is possible for this?”
Direct your brain towards solutions rather than the problem. While ‘Why’ questions pull us down, ‘What’ questions help build momentum for us to go ahead.
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Shock Your System (A Refreshing Change)
We have a habit of playing the victim card. As we play the lead role in our story, our brain thinks that others in our lives play negative roles. When our overthinking increases, not only our mind but our body feels the repercussions too.
When our mind is stuck in a loop, our shoulders tighten, breathing becomes shallow, and cortisol floods the system. We often realise it later when we calm down. However, if you get a hint of these changes, take action immediately.
There are some things that you can do to get out of the loop:
- Sit down in a comfortable place and drink a glass of water.
- Do some exercise – jumping jacks, climb a flight of stairs, or push-ups, maybe.
- Splash some cold water on your face.
- Hold an ice cube in your palm for 30 seconds.
When you give different data to your nervous system for processing, you can interrupt the loop of your thoughts. By forcing the brain to process a sudden and intense physical sensation, we derail our train of thought.
Giving sudden challenges to our brain helps us get into the present. When it is getting difficult to stay mindful of our thoughts, change your physical surroundings or give your body a challenge to complete.
3 Games to Play to Stop Overthinking
If your brain asks you to doomscroll reels to stop overthinking, you should not comply. Instead, here are 3 fun games you can play on your own or ask another overthinker to play with you to stop overthinking.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Game
Name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste. You can either write this down on paper or try to make a mental note.
The ‘A’ to ‘Z’ of Categories
Choose a category, say animals, and try to name one animal for every letter from A to Z. Again, you can make a mental note or write it down on paper.
The Reverse Subtraction
Count down from 100 by subtracting 7s. For instance, begin with 100, 93 (100-7), 86 (93-7), and so on and so forth. This helps divert your focus.
The Ultimate Reality Check
Here is the final piece of perspective that will help you force-quit your overthinking problem: Your thoughts are not objective facts.
Our brain concocts a terrifying, awkward, and critical narrative of many things. Just because our brain has built a castle in the air shouldn’t mean that we shift over there. All the thoughts that occur to us need to be considered as data, and not facts. Sometimes, you need to let go of some thoughts to make way for fresher ones.
The next time your brain goes on a loop of thoughts, remember to stay in the present and divert your focus. You need to remind yourself: you are the driver of your brain, not the passenger being taken on a ride. Take a break and laugh off negative thoughts.
