“Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events and small minds discuss people.”
I read this quote by Roosevelt a couple of years ago. Since then, I have got hooked on to it. While I discuss people in this post, please do not label me as the one with ‘small mind’. This post is written in the general interest of your well-being.
Explaining the Term ‘Toxic People’
‘Declutter’ is the new buzzword. People are decluttering their wardrobe, kitchen, lifestyle, and what-not. However, you might not have yet decluttered your life of toxic people. Chances are that you are not even aware of the phrase ‘toxic people’. Toxic people are not those who have chemicals in their handbags – no, not at all. But, their acts and behavior are such that you feel burdened by their presence in your life.
Why ‘Toxic People’ are Harmful
And the counter-question should be are ‘toxic’ people beneficial in any way? The word toxic is enough a suggestion that they are harmful to your life and lifestyle. Have you wondered you feel bogged down after talking to someone – they never have anything good to say – such people are toxic and not good for your health! If you have a toxic person in your office, chances are you will not be able to climb the ladder of professional success. If you have one in your family, you will not be able to form good relationships with other members, whereas if you encounter one in the apartment where you stay, it will become difficult for you to reside here after some time. This is because toxic people carry venom in their hearts and even on their tongues. They are neither able to see you happy nor they let you be sad. Toxic people are like barriers on a highway – they can become responsible for your accident.
- Toxic people can turn out to be detrimental to your health
- They can make your relationships sour with other people
- Such people can act as a barrier to your professional success
- They induce negative vibes around you and in your workplace
- They can also hamper your intelligence and power of thinking
How to Handle Toxic People
It is like handling hot coal straight out of fire or alternatively, an ice cube straight out of the refrigerator. To handle a toxic person in your life, you need to be very smart. You need to end all relationships with the person, without making the person realize it. The process needs to be slow yet steady. Firstly, you need to set limits on such people. If you find that the person is constantly complaining and does not focus on the solution, then you need not discuss your problems with such people.
Learn to change the topic. The conversations with toxic people often revolve around the problems they face or how bad other people are. If you do not want to participate in useless discussions, learn to change the conversation and direct it to something that benefits you. Whenever you face a toxic person, be aware of all the happenings. Stay alert and aware of everything that is going on. Do not fall into their trap. The words you utter or things you do can be used against you. It is better to stay out of those conversations and things that will give such people a chance to begin all over again.
Do not let such people participate in your life decisions. They overpower your life and try to make decisions for you, which is not required. This not only hampers your ability to think but can also harm you. Firstly, do not bring up topics that require advice. Even if they come up, do not take their advice. And lastly, even if these people give their advice, you use your own mind to make decisions. Stay out of the chaos that toxic people bring in your life.
Toxic means negative and so, toxic person means the one who induces negativity in your life. Whenever you feel that something is not going right in your life, find our whether you have such people in your group or around you. Try to get out of their circle to end negativity and pessimism in your life.
Toxic people do not have a habit of praising anyone. They think less of every situation. Even if you climb Mount Everest, they will criticize this act in some way or the other. Do not be dependent on others for your happiness – their opinions do not matter. Stay happy for your own self.
How Not to Become ‘Toxic’ Yourself
It might happen that you become a toxic person yourself in some way or the other. Here are some things that can help you stay away from being the negative one.
Every time you say ‘thank you’ or express gratitude, you attract positivity from the person and the environment around. A ‘thank you’ means that you are noticing the efforts that people are putting in for you and you appreciate their kindness.
Every person has its own way to think and express emotions. Do not expect others to understand you in an instant. It is required to make clear conversations. Mean every word that you say and own the entire conversation. Do not lie ever instead pass on an effective message to others.
Convey Your Feelings
When you see someone wearing a nice dress, even a stranger, do not shy away from compliments. When you say something nice to someone, the person feels good and confident about you and also the world around him or her. The world is not that good as it used to be. Saying inspiring words and complementing others is a good act.
Cut that Clutter
Have you ever been in such a situation when you said something wrong about a person and the person was standing just behind your back? Take this as a cue by the universe to stop gossiping. Gossiping is quite toxic and will stain positivity around you. When you talk behind someone’s back, you send wrong signals to the person, who might end the relationship with you if this continues.
Pending tasks and responses pack up your to-do list. And as the list becomes long, you might forget to do one thing or the other. This might land you in some trouble. Instead, execute tasks as and when they arise. This clears up the aura around you.
Mind cleansing is a great activity. When you hold up something bad about others, your entire energy is wasted in what that person did to you. Instead, think about good things that people have done for you and you will feel good and your mind will feel light.
You need to think good and positive things about your own self and also about others. Do not get into the habit of finding faults in others’ behavior and acts. Do not even keep finding faults in the way you look or feel. Instead, focus on finding good features and habits of your own and others. However, do not overdo it.
Toxicity is like a bad odor. It remains in the environment for a long time, making it difficult to breathe. It is your onus to end the toxicity in your life and also that of others. Live and let others live to the fullest. Let us make this world a tad better, a bit happier, one act at a time.