How Non-Working Mothers Can Add Value to Their Lives? Things Mothers Should Do


A mother goes through different phases in her life. From being an independent working professional, she leaves her job suddenly and is home bound for first two months when she gives birth to a baby. Those two months are quite tough. She goes through hormonal changes, emotional upheaval and taking care of a baby for the first time. However much she has determined to begin the job after the job, she is in two minds as to how to leave the baby and go. While some mothers do not have any other option, others change their mind and decide to be at home with the kid and concentrate on upbringing. After two-three years, she decides to begin schooling for the kid and focus on her career again. But what’s this? Industry is not that welcoming as it seemed to be. After trying for six months to a year, she decides to become a pre-school teacher or resume studies. Some even opt for trying their hands on entrepreneurship.

This is not my story as I have been writing all through the trying times. But I have come across many such new-age mothers who are not able to live their dream of balancing work and family together. What to do when your kid leaves for school? What to do when your kid grows up and leaves for studies to a different city or a country? Here are some ideas that will help you cope up with the situation and how to add value to your personality.

Your Hobbies Should Never Take a Pause

I have seen many a times that ladies forget their hobbies or simply stop them, when they find that they are pregnant. Yes, you are pregnant, that’s a great thing. But it does not mean that you should stop being yourself. Keep yourselves occupied by indulging in a hobby. So, when at a later stage, nothing seems to work, your hobby would keep you company. Even when the baby arrives, take some time out for your hobby. When the baby grows up and leaves for school, you can turn your hobby into a profession or team it up with some other work as well.

Try to Earn Something, Even If the Amount is Minimal

Yes, your husband is quite supportive and has been earning well. However, you need to stay independent and that will make you a confident woman. Confidence is quite important for mothers as they are role models for their kids. Search for work-from-home or go out and work to earn something. This will motivate you and even contribute to your personality. You can be a teacher, you can make something at home and sell, or you can be a consultant or a full-time working professional. Do not be available for your kid 24×7. Let your kid know that you have a life beyond home and family as well.

Learn A New thing, Skill Or A Course

Now that you are free, you can learn something new. Find out something that you always wanted to do. Or try out something new. Overcome your fears and drive on a new road. You can learn swimming, driving, singing, playing instruments, dance, pottery, drawing or anything and everything. Be a kid again and try your hands on things that you were not able to do as a kid. You would love this and your family would also gain something out of your new learnt skills.

Make New Friends, Start Fresh Conversations

By this, I do not mean that go on a hunting spree for new friends and leave the ones that you already have. I mean to say that you need to open up to strangers and talk to them. Connect with other mothers and learn how they spend their time. Visit places that you were not able to with your kids. Keep a tab on the exhibitions, trade shows and events that are happening in your locality and city. Even if it means travelling a lot, do that. Take public transport for long routes. It helps you ponder, contemplate and observe people and places better.

Prepare An Event Calendar

You might think that there is no use of event calendar as you do not have much to do. However, the moment you make a calendar, you would be tempted to fill that up. You would scout for opportunities that can sizzle up your calendar. If your kids are younger, make space for some play dates for them. If your kids are teenagers, schedule some family meetings where your kids could meet the extended family.

Plan Get-Together With Groups

You might have a friend from school, a friend who stays in the same apartment as you, a friend from your kid’s school and so on and so forth. Invite different friends over to your place. Even if it is just two of you, plan something interesting. For instance, you can keep a theme wherein both of you wear similar clothes and prepare similar dishes for potluck. Play fun games and involve your kids too if they are willing to.

Watch Interesting Content

With the influx of Netflix, Amazon Prime and YouTube, lots of interesting content is available to watch. Start watching a web-series that matches your interest or watch short movies that have been appreciated around the globe. To make it different and slightly tough, try to watch movies in other languages without subtitles. This way, you can understand the emotions and appreciate cinematography as well.

Work Out to Stay Fit

Irrespective what your scale says, no matter whether you are thin or fat, it is necessary that you work out to stay fit and healthy. Working out not only keeps you physically fit but keeps you mentally alert as well. Those who work out regularly do not suffer from depression, anxiety or blues frequently. Find out a workout buddy and get going, girl.

Work Out Your Mind As Well

You might not be aware that your mind too requires exercise. For these, you need to play mind games. Learn to solve Sudoku, kakuro, Hittori, crossword, brain puzzles, etc. Mind Games are very helpful to keep you alert and sharp. People who play mind games do not suffer from memory issues as well. If you are not aware of mind games, get a basic book for beginners from a book store near you. It is better that you play such games in a book or newspaper, basically offline, rather than online.

Go On Trips Alone Or With Friends

Yes, trips are a fun thing to do. When you explore places other than your city, you learn about different cultures, nature and environment. Above all, you learn about surviving in different settings. Ask your friends to accompany you, find out groups on Facebook that plan such trips, plan something out with your family or just take a solo trip. When you plan to take a solo trip, keep your safety in mind.

Start Reading A Book

Whether or not you are a voracious reader, you can always start reading a book. Books transport you to a different world altogether. Depending upon the book, you will learn about something – be it emotions, skills, survival or the inspiration to live your life to the fullest. Choose your books carefully. You can check the Google reviews and ratings before beginning a book.

Begin A Club Or An Initiative

Depending upon your hobby, you can start a reading club, storytelling club, sports club or anything that seems good to you. It doesn’t matter how many members your club has. What matters is that you meet regularly and make your initiative a success. If you want to do something for the society, begin a charitable initiative wherein you teach deprived kids, take senior citizens to a picnic or something like that. You can even do something for the environment – a green initiative wherein you ask people to ban the use of poly bags.

Above All This

No matter whatever be your day like, every day you need to:

  1. Laugh a lot
  2. Eat good food
  3. Stretch and Exercise
  4. Read the newspaper
  5. Meet a friend
  6. Compliment a stranger
  7. Compliment your own self

There are no set formula to live life well. When you find others doing something good, instead of being jealous or feeling insecurity, ask them if you can join them. Just because you are a mother now, it does not mean that you do not have a life of your own. Keep yourselves busy. Live your life to the fullest. Learn how to balance motherhood, family and your interests. Happiness to you!

Embrace Late Motherhood – Benefits of Starting a Family After 30

Benefits of Starting a Family After 30

Benefits of Starting a Family After 30

“When I was your age, I was bringing up both you and your younger sister”

Blurted her mom to win the ‘Have a Baby Now’ argument once again. However, Vini and her husband had decided to wait for at least three years after their wedding to start a family. But since past one year, Vini was not able to handle the pressures from both sides of the family. She was not able to convince the elders that she was not prepared to even think of a baby at this stage of her career. Yes, she definitely wants to start a family. She wanted to assure her mom that she will not be in the category of ‘Double Income No Kid’ (DINK) couple. But, baby is not their priority now.

Just like Vini and her husband, there are many couples around the world who are delaying the joy of parenthood. There is a gradual increase in mothers who have babies quite later in their life. While earlier, mothers used to have their first baby anywhere between 20 and 25 years of age, now this age range has increased to 30 and 35 on an average. In fact, many women are embracing motherhood even in their mid-40s, without much ado.

Why A Shift Towards Delayed Parenthood

There are so many reasons why couples are opting for parenthood later in their lives. While for some, this is a conscious decision, there are many who do not have any other choice left. These are the probable reasons of delayed parenthood in couples these days.

Firstly, women are delaying getting hitched. Marriage has taken a backseat and women are concentrating more on their careers. In fact, women nowadays even begin their first jobs late as they opt for higher studies to improve their skills. This ultimately delays the choice of motherhood. It is easy to become a mother than to get a job, is the notion of many women.

Secondly, couples these days desire to give more time to their relationship. They do not want to unfold the layers of the character of each other by becoming parents. The priority is the relationship and then parenthood. This allows them to cope with the pressures better.

Further, even finances play a bigger role. These days parents desire to give their kids a dream life, wherein the kids have everything they want. In this bid to provide all, couples first need to be stable financially and then concentrate on parenthood.

What Do Doctors Feel About This?

Parents are opting for the blessings of children later in life not only because they want to, but also because they know that advanced medical science has made this possible. However, doctors are not of the opinion that one should have kids only after mid-30s. However, with the advent in medical science, women have the choice to do so. ‘Older’ couples are opting for procedures like ‘in vitro fertilization’ or surrogacy if they face difficulties. Women also have the option of egg freezing that enables them to become mothers at a stage when they are prepared to do so. Let’s delve into the benefits that women and children enjoy when they embrace motherhood later in their lives.

Benefits of Late Pregnancy to Women

Benefits of Late Pregnancy to Women

Many women are in the dilemma whether to choose career or kids. Above all this, women are worried whether having children later in life is a good idea. They are concerned about the upbringing of the kids, their own health later in life and similar other apprehensions. However, they need not fear. They can have kids later in life if they really want to, thanks to many researches that prove several benefits that ‘older’ mothers might have over their peers.

Older Mothers Better Equipped Emotionally

There is no dispute about this that people mature with age. When older women embrace motherhood, they are very much aware of everything they will require to do after having kids. Overtime, such women meet other mothers and come to learn about a thing or two. Further, they are emotionally equipped to handle the stress that comes with parenting. Such women are also quite patient with their kids. They understand that good parenting consumes time. They are exposed to different studies and the methods of upbringing. In such an environment, even kids of older mothers feel emotionally secured.

A Longer Life Might be in Waiting

Many older mothers feel that they will not be able to watch her children grow. However, they might be in for a surprise here. A study proves that women who opt for becoming mothers at a later stage in life might live longer. Having a child later in life, after crossing 30, may turn out to be a blessing to mothers as per a study. Such women may live up to ninety years of age or even more than that. Same goes for those women who become mothers after their 40th birthday.

A Family Blessed with Financial Stability

When couples choose parenthood later in lives, they are not worried about the finances and capital required for birth and education of their children. Such couples have made enough savings to make sure that their kids do not face any problems. They ensure the best of education and most likely, a premium lifestyle for their children. Another benefit is that such couples have a stable career and are not struggling for a foot in the industry. By the time they have kids they come to understand the calling of their lives. This enables them to know how they will grow in their profession. This ultimately helps the children in shaping their lives and careers at a later stage.

Benefits to Children of ‘Older’ Mothers

Not only mothers benefit out of pregnancy at a later stage, even kids get a fair share of advantages.

Upbringing by Brainy Moms

The brainpower of women shoots up after menopause. So, when women opt to become mothers at a later stage in life, after the age of 35, they might benefit out of this. Women also bask in many benefits of a later pregnancy. The chances of memory loss in such women decline sharply. Their brains start functioning magnificently and there is even a delay in the chances of memory failure. All this is due to hormonal impact. Without any doubt, hormones play a strong role in the life of women. Also, most of the women who opt for wedding and marriage at a later stage invest the time lap in education and learning. This helps children getting the benefit of a well-exposed and educated mother.

Chances of Higher Education Increase

Kids of mothers who opted to have them at a late stage are better exposed than their peers. A study proves that such children are more likely to stay in the education system for a long time. Such kids even performed better in tests and examinations. Children, who have older mothers as compared to their fellow students, are likely to opt for higher education as well. They are brought up in an environment where they are inspired to learn more and expand their knowledge through various means. This ensures a systematic educated upbringing, right from the beginning.

Nurture in a Stable Environment

The environment in which the kids are brought plays an important role in their grooming. When the parents are older, they are mature as well. They understand the significance of the ambiance and they make sure that the kids are exposed to right things at the right age. Parents are always the first teachers. When kids watch their parents’ behavior and how they tackle different situations, they imbibe the same nature. They learn tact and thoughtfulness and use the same throughout their life.

Women, Now You Have a Bagful of Reasons

Next time, when someone asks you regarding the reason you did not have kids, you can give them these. If you do not want to talk at length to such people, simply give them the link of this post. Women, you are the master of your own destiny – whether to have one child at present, two children later or none at all, throughout your life is ultimately your decision. There is no reason that you follow the footsteps of others or change your decision, based on the whims and fancies of others. Celebrate womanhood, lady!